August 2010
I was sitting in my Papa Mike chair in our dayroom, watching over a lunch meal, when a man approached and started chatting with me. He told me that his trade was installing gutters, and that he had been out of work for three weeks. He was at the Pov with his wife and one of their three children. He didn't want anything; he just wanted to thank us for the meals. He said that being able to come here and eat had really helped them out.
One of the kids he had wasn't his own. He and his wife had taken on a disabled child as official or unofficial foster parents before he lost his job. So here he was, a blue collar worker, trying to do the right thing and help someone else while his world was collapsing.
When he went back to his seat, I checked my wallet. A donor had given me a gift card to a local grocery store, and it had been burning a hole in my pocket while I looked for someone to give it to. After speaking with him, I knew I'd found the right man for the card.
I walked over to his table, handed it to him, and said, Just thought this might come in handy. He looked at the card as if in shock, showed it to his wife and daughter, and then leaped up and hugged me; that was followed by the wife and daughter both giving me hugs.
It's refreshing to help someone in an uncomplicated way, someone who doesn't seem to have any hidden agendas. I've assisted hundreds of families over the years, and rarely do I find one that has a simple, clean, hard-luck story.
Back in the 1980s, when we began seeing large numbers of homeless families, homeless advocates promoted the idea that these were all victims of a bad economy. I believed that for a long time. In some cases, it's undoubtedly true. However, in my experience, people who come to Poverello for purely economic reasons soon get back on their feet and leave. Those who are chronically homeless have other problems.
For example: a long time ago, a couple came in with several very cute kids. They were in a bad way, they said, because the father had some serious health issues that had derailed his career and piled up medical costs. We helped this family quite a bit They disappeared from the food line, which is usually a good sign.
Then they showed up again a few months later.
In what was to become a recurring pattern, they would get help, go away for awhile, and then end up back at Poverello, broke and desperate. I began to realize that there was more to the story than what they had told me, and that drugs were involved in their chronic poverty.
The hard thing about families in crisis is seeing kids suffer for adult follies. I sometimes get angry at moms and dads who put their drug habits before the welfare of their children, but I generally help them anyway because the kids are helpless to change the situation. Their parents might have some choices about altering their dilemma, but the children don't.
I used to think about homeless problems in terms of big, sweeping social changes. Years of experience have corrected my view. I now know that hitting bottom, becoming responsible and changing perspectives will radically alter the trajectory of someone's life. Ultimately, its an inside job. However, until that inside job happens to homeless individuals or heads of families, Poverello still needs to be here to help pick up the pieces and give aid and comfort; especially when it comes to the kids.
Mike McGarvin, Founder/ Fellowship Director
info@poverellohouse.org